


Maybe "Someday" Won't Mean Death

by Awsauce



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Angst, Clexa, Death, F/F, I Don't Know Anymore, and clarke probably, i am bitter, i'm dead inside, it's a very short fic, like lexa, mebe oso na hit choda op nodotaim, reshop heda, this show ruined my life, yu gonplei ste odon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-04
Updated: 2016-03-04
Packaged: 2018-05-24 18:17:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 432
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6162334
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Awsauce/pseuds/Awsauce
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The honest title of this fic is "Written Seeking Closure but I Didn't Find It" or "I Had to Watch That Shit Scene Again for Five Lines"</p><p>A bit after Lexa's death from Clarkes pov</p>
            </blockquote>





	Maybe "Someday" Won't Mean Death

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, guys. Yesterday was traumatizing. I feel bad for adding to the hell we've found ourselves in, but you know... It's not quite therapeutic but it's something. And to be honest, I never thought my first fic posted on here would be this

She doesn't know how long it's been since they left Polis. Murphy rides ahead. He hasn't tried to comfort her, and she is mostly grateful for it. He seems to understand her need for space... Besides, if she lets herself think, if she lets herself remember that Lexa is… that she’s… and Clarke had been unable to save her...

A choked sob claws its way from her throat, and she quickly pushes that thought away. She's cried too much already. She can’t deal with this. Not now. Not when she still has to figure out a way to pull Arcadia out of the hole they dug themselves into. She has to stay strong. For her people, for herself, for... she could grieve on her own time. That’s what she tells herself.

And yet, the memories keep coming. The fear, the shock, the pain. She can’t even allow herself to escape into the last moments they'd shared before Titus shot her. They were tainted. All of them. Lexa’s smile will always be smeared with blood. Her body, always limp and lifeless. Her eyes, gazing up at her as the light fades from them, far too calm for a dying woman. Her voice, always hoarse, trembling as she speaks… her final breath ghosting across Clarke's lips.

 

_“Clarke…”_

_“I’m here.”_

_"Ai gonplei ste odon.”_

_"No. No, I won't accept that"_

_"You were right, Clarke. Life is about more than just surviving."_

 

She feels hypocritical for thinking it, but lately it feels like life is nothing but surviving. A tear slips unbidden from her eye, falls onto her hand. She stares at it. She’d scrubbed at the blood for what felt like hours, but she still feels it coating her fingers. The black stains under her nails are a constant reminder. Her knuckles are turning bone white from clutching the reins too hard. Maybe they should hurt, but they don't. Not like they're supposed to. This world is too harsh, too unfair. She’s lost too much, too many. She can’t help but think that all they needed was time. Just a little more time. After losing Wells, it was just a little longer. Losing Finn, just a little further. And Lexa... She’s so tired but she has to hold out. She owes her people that much. Hell, she owes it to herself. If life is more than surviving, if there's some glimmer of hope for the future, for any future that doesn't involve fighting and bloodshed, maybe she can prove herself and Lexa right. Maybe she can find it. Maybe someday doesn't have to mean death.


End file.
